The Chore Swap-Doesn't it look beautiful?



 So, to begin week 2 (I can't believe it's only week 2) of The Chore Swap, I made my third round mowing and edging the lawn.  This time, I decided to set a goal for myself.  I wanted to get it all done in 1 hour.  It took me 1 hour and 28 minutes. My first mistake was waiting until 11:30 in the morning to attempt this feat.  It was already 95 degrees and 80% humidity in lovely South Florida. This is not the ideal weather to be doing yard work at all, let alone setting speed goals.  I went out there aiming to run while I mowed.  For exercise and other important reasons. Stop laughing. The running lasted one minute.  I decided to walk through it and to only take two water breaks. 

 

The hardest part about yard work so far is the little unexpected things.  I still have not figured out how to load and unload the battery on the mower.  It ways a ton and I am reminded that this non-gas guzzling mower was my big environmentally responsible idea.  It's a heavier mower than a standard mower and has less power.  Oh, well. It is what it is.  Emptying the basket of grass is very fun. The first time I did it, I lift out the basket and half the grass flies out and all over me.  Turning the mower, that is so much work.  Who knew? And lastly, edging. Edging I am getting much better at but am not a fan of the grass and twigs whipping my ankles and calves.  I now know why the professionals wear full pants and long sleeve shirts.  The edger also runs on batteries and I can never make it around the entire yard, front and back, without recharging it.  This is one of the reasons that I set the 1 hour goal.  So, I am now going to just time my edging, note when the edger pitters out, and then try to reduce that time so I can finish the whole yard without recharging.  I might figure it out by the end of the experiment. 

 

I will have to do an extensive weeding session this week as I did something crazy the last few days.  I enjoyed it.  I didn't monitor the weeds because I took my girls school clothes shopping, school supply shopping, took them on little adventures, went exploring, and they had a volleyball tournament on Sunday.  So, the weeds took full advantage of this time and decided to grow...like weeds.  Little buggers.  Weeding, cleaning the patio, and hedging will be on the list for the rest of the week.

 

All in all, I am quite proud of my work and I am not afraid to let everyone know.  When we leave the driveway on a day that I have just mowed the lawn, I tell the girls to look and I say, "Doesn't it look beautiful?" And doesn't it?  Just humor me. And don't forget to tell the person who does your lawn how beautiful it looks, even if that person is you.

 

 

 

How is Mike doing?

I ask him if he wants to swap back and he just smiles. He doesn't say yes or no, just smiles. I told him how many days we have left, 19, and he thought I was joking, "Really? that long?"  He sent me a text last night on his way home from a 3 hour drive, "I am going to clean the house tonight."  And by "cleaning the house", he meant... mopping the floor downstairs. So, you can kind of guess how it's going.  To tell you the truth, he is doing better than I expected with the amount of time he spends away from the house.  He didn't stand back to admire the floors and he didn't ask anyone to notice but I told him how awesome they looked, how great it felt to have clean floors beneath my feet and later he took the time to notice as well, "It does feel great." Yes, it does. Tonight, he came home from work and continued to work on the rest of his chores, cleaning bathrooms and cleaning the upstairs floors and the stairs. We are going on week 2 and he still hasn't washed the bedding and I will let it go until the end of the week and then that's it.  I will have to do it if he waits too much longer...because...the crazy hairy Holly-dog likes to take turns sleeping with all of us.  I know he doesn't want me to do it.  I can tell he really wants to be able to do all of it.  So, I am going to let it go...let it go...the hair never bothered me anyway? or at least it won't bother me for a few more days.  

 



The Chore Swap-Unintended Consequences

 

5 days into Week One of doing Mike's chores and I have mowed and edged the front lawn , mowed and edged the backyard, touched up the front yard again, picked up poo, cleaned up the patio, vacuumed couches twice, and floors once. Not easy but I don't have to mow or edge the lawns again until next Monday.  I walk around the front and backyard daily looking for weeds.  I plan to pull them as soon as they peek their little heads out.  We'll see.  It will be me against the weeds.  I hate weeding and in this hot and humid South Florida climate, the thought of being outside pulling weeds is not at all appealing and I plan to avoid it by preemptive strike.  Same with the dog poo.  I pick up poo daily, and before the rain, because, well, it's just easier that way. 

 

How is Mike doing?

I cannot speak for him but just from my own observation, I would say that Mike is managing pretty well.  He squeezes in an hour of housework here and an hour there.  Here he is mopping late on Sunday night.

What I do in 6-8 hours a week, usually in two days, he is spreading over the course of many days.  For me, the house never feels ALL clean, it just feels part clean which means something always needs to be cleaned.  It's not my preferred way to tackle the indoor stuff but I have decided to make like Elsa from Frozen and just let it go.  Mike is well known for his competitive nature and it is coming in handy for this experiment, even though it's not a competition.  He doesn't want to appear to be flailing or "losing", so, he is going to make it work but I can also see that he just doesn't have the time to do a thorough job on a regular basis. I can see him struggling and racing to fit it all in with his job and his free time. Here is a load of towels that he rushed to wash and put in the dryer before he left for a 4 day work trip.  He just didn't have time to fold them and put them away.  Of course, I had to do my own laundry, and so, I had a choice...leave it in a pile for him to do when he got back or do it myself.  I just did it.  It was the right thing to do and under normal "non-experimental" circumstances, I would just do it. AND I couldn't stand looking at a pile of towels for 4 days.  I have issues.

 

 

This is why we originally divided up the chores as we did. Being a stay-at-home mom, I have 10 or 15 minutes here and there to quickly fold some laundry and put it away. He travels out of town for days on end and is out of the house for sometimes 10 hours a day. So, taking care of the yard once a week seems manageable and quickly picking up some dog poo or vacuuming a couch seemed more manageable then all of the rest of the tedium. So, while he would never say he can't wait to trade back, I can't help but think he wouldn't mind.

 

I know that I am enjoying the break but will be happy to swap back.  As difficult as it is to deal with tedium of indoor housework, and as satisfying as it is to work hard outdoors, I prefer indoor housework.  I miss the routine and the order and the air conditioning...ALREADY.  I really miss the air conditioning.  However, I am enjoying my newfound free time. Yardwork is hard but I only have to do the hardest part once a week.  It's a break and breaks are good.

 

Unintended Consequences and Early Discoveries:

 

1. Mike said to me, "Taking care of this house would be so much easier if everyone did their assigned chores.  My chores wouldn't take so much time." Exactly!!!  I've been trying to say this for years.  It was one of those lightbulb moments for both of us.  I was so happy to hear those words and can only hope that he remembers them when we swap back. 

 

2. I am also starting to think that maybe we need to rearrange the chores or alternate on a permanent basis because I think we are appreciating the time away from our normal chores.  It's good to shake it up. for everybody.

 

3. One of our dogs, Holly, who I will probably dedicate an entire post to someday, sheds...A LOT. There are four people in our family and 3 of us are assigned a day to Swiffer and Mike, right now, is vacuuming/swiffering twice a week (or is supposed to be).  This picture shows you how much dog hair we are dealing with 5 times a week.  And this is just one living room and dining room, not even the whole house.  What are we going to do with her?  Part of having a dog is taking care of the dog and taking care of the doggy mess that she creates.  My youngest decided this week that Holly needs to be "shaved bald like a poodle" because "this is just too much hair to clean up all of the time".  But clean it up we will and, no, we will not be shaving her like a poodle. We just love her too much and, if she could, I truly believe she would do it for us.  She would do anything for us, so, we clean up after her until death do us part.

 

4. One of my favorite things about experimenting through life are often times the positive unintended consequences.  This experiment is for my husband and myself but it has had an effect on our kids.  As is often the case, yesterday, I had rushed to make dinner before the girls' volleyball practice and didn't have enough time to clean up the dishes.  I just figured I would throw the dishes in the sink and clean them up when I got home, as usual.  I was upstairs getting myself ready to leave and I could hear water running and what sounded like dishes clinking.  It sounded just like someone was doing the dishes.  I couldn't believe my ears. I walked down the stairs ever so slowly as to not ruin the moment. And sure enough, these little angels were doing the dishes...without being asked.  They are expected to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher and help clean after dinner but rarely do they do so without some grumbling and almost never do they do so without being asked or reminded.  When they saw my face, they knew what a special moment this was and how proud I was. The oldest said, "well, I went to put my dinner dishes in the dishwasher but it was full of clean dishes, and so, I just figured that we should empty it and then why not just do all the rest."  Why not.  It gave me a glimmer of hope that they are learning something from this little experiment, too. 

The Chore Swap-And on Day 2, I picked up poo...

Day 1 was fun.  I mowed the lawn.  Well, okay, I mowed and edged the FRONT lawn.  It took me just over an hour.  I was South Florida sweaty and my arms felt like noodles afterward but I had just enough strength to lift a beer when I was done. Thank goodness for small miracles. Before I could enjoy a beer, I had to vacuum the dog hair off of the patio furniture and the patio area.  I needed somewhere to sit and enjoy.  Right?

How did I do?
My edging skills need A LOT of work.  Not an easy task at all. Takes much more patience than I have and a steady hand. I've got mowing down but could get a little faster.  All in all, it was an enjoyable experience.  There is just something very satisfying about standing back when you are done and saying, I did that and it looks great. 

How did Mike do?
On Day 1, Mike dusted the entire house, cleaned the toilets, and cleaned the bathroom counters in less than an hour.  I found it highly unlikely that he could do an adequate job in the short period of time but he encouraged me to look around and I was impressed with what he had done.  Not that I didn't think he was capable but one hour?  Pretty impressive.  I did notice a few missed spots but nothing to really point out. He did a great job and he knew it. He gleamed with pride.

Interestingly, Mike had a few things to say about how much the girls aren't doing and could do.  He grumbled playfully with them and one of the girls said, "Dad, you can't complain because Mom just does it, she doesn't complain. Well, sometimes she complains." The other princess said, "Dad, I knew you were going to get like this and make us do more."  I have to say, it was music to my ears to hear him say that they need to do more.  They do.  They do a lot but, like most kids, are often reluctant to jump in and be helpful without being asked.  I would love for them to see someone working hard and offer to help. I hope that someday it is just their natural reaction to be graciously helpful. Someday. It's a goal to work toward.

And on Day 2?

I picked up poo...in the rain.  I picked up a bucket full of dog poo. I did it with a smile because what else can I do?  That's it for the day.  I tackled a messy junk drawer and read but I don't need to mow the backyard until Monday, so, for now, I will just enjoy the vacation.  Mike, on the other hand, was scurrying about this morning vacuuming the entire house.  Again, he mentioned that we all need to help out more. "Jen, when is your day to help with vacuuming?" This, again, is music to my ears.  I totally agree.  It's frustrating to be scurrying around the house, doing what needs to be done, while the rest of your family is lounging about playing Minecraft, drinking coffee and reading.  I nodded in agreement, and I so very much wanted to help, but for the purpose of this experiment, I am sticking to my chore list,  and today, that means I pick up poo, and that's it. So, today, I picked up poo...in the rain. It was oddly therapootic.

What's next?

A bloggy break.  I'll update in a few days.  I figure it's good to let a few days pass to really LIVE the experiment.  Until then...happy experimenting! Enjoy your weekend!

The Chore Swap-Day 1

To start our Chore Swap, my husband and I had some basic preparation and final negotiating to do before we could begin.  I had to show him where all the cleaning supplies were and he had to show me where all of the tools were and exactly how to use them.  I have mowed the lawn, hedged, planted, and fertilized before but I have never used the edger.  We also have an electric mower and putting the ridiculously heavy battery in that thing takes muscle that I just don't have yet.  Once the battery is in, I am good to go.

Final Negotiation

My husband wanted to know if I would do the few indoor "dog-upkeep" jobs that he has on the family chore chart.  So, yes, I will vacuum the couches and floor rug twice a week.  The majority of the housework seems to be dog-related but we love her, so, we do it. He wanted to know (half-kidding) if I would still clean up after myself when I make a mess in the kitchen?  Really! His foot is still jammed in his mouth and steam is still coming out of my ears.  I said, of course, because I am kind and considerate and I always clean up after myself. That's just who I am. He asked if we could enlist the kids.  The kids already have a set of chores but of course, they could always help out more. 

OBSERVATION #1
What I noticed immediately is that the kids do not have any outdoor chores on their chore chart.  They make their bed, clean their bathroom or dust their bedrooms, do their own laundry, help with the dog-hair battle by swiffering once a week, and vacuuming the couch once a week.  They help clean sliding doors and help with odds and ends like dusting blinds or cleaning walls. From time to time, I have asked them to help with weeding or picking up the dog lawn gifts but there is no official outdoor chore assigned to them on a weekly basis.  This should change and I suggested that this should change immediately but no one else agreed.  Mike felt that would not be fair because up until now he has not had much help and I should experience yard work solo.  I think he has just missed out on that child labor opportunity but why should I? I reminded him that he was the one who asked if we could enlist the kids. The kids are about to go on strike and would rather have indoor chores than pick up poop or pull weeds.  So, it appears that even they feel outdoor chores are less desirable.  We will be changing the chore chart. The kids will have more outdoor chores. Effective immediately... after this experiment. Absolutely.  They have one month to prepare mentally for this change.

OBSERVATION #2
I am already anxious about the inside of the house.  I already have the incredible urge to start cleaning.  I can see dog hair accumulating and feel that the floors beneath my feet are far FAR less than squeaky clean.  It's that time of the week when the house is in need of a good cleaning.  I love to start my weekend off with a clean house. I know, with two young children and two hairy dogs, the clean surely won't last long but it's calming for me, cleansing and detoxifying.  But...I can't.  I have to let him do it at his own pace. I can't ask him to do it when I want it done (per our negotiation). So, I will bite my tongue and go outside, mow the lawn and then sit on the patio and patio furniture that I cleaned.  Maybe I'll have a cold beer when I'm done. The yard will be my new calming oasis.

The Chore Swap

So, one day, my husband says to me, "My yard work is harder than all of your chores combined."  Oh, really?!? He was lucky I didn't have coffee in my mouth. I immediately felt a new little experiment being born.  Did he REALLY just say what I think he said?  So, I gave him a chance to recant, but he did not. I challenged him to a Chore Swap: for one month he will do my chores and I will do his yard work.  If my chores are so easy, then this experiment should be easy breezy for him or so one might think.  To this experiment, my husband says, "Fine. But just remember, I have a full-time job." I am a stay-at-home mom. So, you can only imagine how fast my head spun. Linda Blair Fast! And this is how the Chore Swap was born.  It will begin on July 18th and end on August 18th, two days after our wedding anniversary.  Should be fun!

Like every good experiment, we have...

A Question: Whose chores are harder? 

Background Information:

*I decided to be fair and define my "full-time" job responsibilities and exclude these responsibilities from the list of chores.  My job responsibilities include but are not limited to: taking care of the kids' schedules, daily activities, and appointments; planning and making meals; and bulk grocery shopping.  I am simplifying my job responsibilities but you get the idea. I'm a mom. The list of chores that I chose to focus on are chores that many SAHM's (Stay-at-home moms) hire the services of others for, to help them stay sane and to gain more precious free time.  I do the chores listed below myself.  Our kiddos have chores but I did not include those here.

1. HIS Chores in question: yard work.
1. Yardwork entails: mowing and edging lawn weekly, weeding weekly, laying new gravel as necessary, hedging as necessary, picking up dog poop, cleaning patio and furniture weekly, fertilizing as necessary.
2. MY Chores in question: housework.
1. Housework entails: dusting every surface in the house bi-weekly, vacuuming every surface in the house bi-weekly, mopping all floors bi-weekly, laundry (towels and bedding only because kids do their own laundry already and I feel it is safer just to do my own laundry), cleaning bathrooms weekly, thorough kitchen cleaning weekly.
3. Important things to keep in mind: We have two children, ages 9 and 11, and we have two dogs.  One of our dogs is a 1.5 year old lab mix and sheds what seems like two coats of fur a day.

HIS Hypothesis (and the inspiration for this experiment):

1. His chores are harder than all of my chores combined. I will beg him to trade back.

MY Hypothesis:

1. His chores might be physically "harder" but my chores are more tedious and never-ending and if they were so much easier he would have thought of this chore swap a long, LONG time ago.  I also think that at the end of this experiment my house will be a dusty, dirty mess and therefore, I will beg him to trade back.

What do I hope to gain from this experiment?

I hope to gain more appreciation for his laborious yard work and I hope that he gains appreciation for my tedious housework.  Chores are chores but appreciation is everything.  And I'll be completely honest, a little part of me hopes he begs for his yard work back because it would just feel awesome but this is not a competition. It's an experiment. Tomorrow, we begin. Stay tuned.